I asked all of the gay male students in the room to raise their hand if in the past week they touched a woman’s body without her consent. After a moment of hesitation, all of the hands of the gay men in the room went up. I then asked the same gay men to raise their hand if in the past week they offered a woman unsolicited advice about how to “improve” her body or her fashion. Once again, after a moment of hesitation, all of the hands in the room went up.

These questions came after a brief exploration of gay men’s relationship to American fashion and women’s bodies. That dialogue included recognizing that gay men in the United States are often hailed as the experts of women’s fashion and by proxy women’s bodies. In addition to this there is a dominant logic that suggests that because gay men have no conscious desire to be sexually intimate with women, our uninvited touching and groping (physical assault) is benign.

—

Gay Men’s Sexism and Women’s Bodies by Yolo Akili (via plightofthepretty)

So I’ve had gay students. (Not the point or the whoopedooo) but I went to the gay club in town with my gay friends for studio 54 night. And I ran into my gay student. And his friend. Who immediately grabbed my boobs. I get that it wasn’t sexual and I wasn’t traumatized or anything but still. It wasn’t cool. It was awkward to be sexualized so very obviously in front of a student. 

That same night one of my friends (a gay man) motorboated my boobs. Mostly I just get to make fun of him for life. But really, he crossed a line. I don’t want to be motorboated or touched LITERALLY in any way (sexual or otherwise) by strangers. I hate strangers sitting by me on the bus. I don’t want touch with anyone. 

I’m not saying that I’m sad/mad/traumatized. I’m saying that these men didn’t respect my boundaries and I’m supposed to laugh about it with friends.

(via malariamonsters)

Posted 3 hours ago — 7,273 notes